Is Eros More Powerful Than Any Sex Technique?

Would you believe me if I told you that being an incredible lover has little to do with technique? Sure, they can add a bit of extra fun. And it’s great to know some new ideas for BJs. 😉

But, what makes an incredible lover is being fully alive.

And nobody can teach you that. Cast your mind back to your hottest sexual memory… You were fully present, right?

It is SO HOT when you’re completely alive in the moment – not worrying about how you look or whether you’re doing it right. And that my friend, is Eros coursing through your veins!

This same presence and aliveness can be brought into your whole life.

But, what is Eros? You may have heard the word, but have you ever wondered what it meant? 


Does Eros just mean sex?

Not exactly. That’s like saying “peanut butter” is the same as “food.” Sure, they’re connected. But Eros is SO much more than sex.

Curious to learn more? Good! Keep reading to learn what Eros is and why you should reclaim it.

What is Eros?

Hold onto your hat. I’m about to get esoteric up in here.

Eros is the life force energy that’s essential to being human. It permeates all creation. And it brings spice and joy to your life.

Eros is aliveness, connectedness, wholeness. You feel it when you’re fully present. In the flow. It makes you healthy, vital and vibrant. And reclaiming Eros means becoming fully alive. It allows you to become a fully embodied sacred sexual being.


In Other Words…

I can feel myself getting carried away here – so let’s anchor this concept with some expert words. Below is an excerpt from a delicious book called, A Return to Eros, by Marc Gafni and Kristina Kincaid.

‘Eros makes itself known in all genuinely felt pain and joy, anger and ecstasy, in which we enter the feeling so deeply that we come out the other side more whole and more alive. 

All of these fill our emptiness and enliven our days. We are no longer alienated from our own lives, living externally, wondering, “Is this all there is?” 

To live and love with passion, purpose, and poignancy—to be radically alive in all the facets of our being—is what it means to live an erotic life.’

Now that sounds exciting, right?

Going Through the Motions?

Do you ever feel like you’re kind of going through the motions? 

Like, you have everything you need, but you still feel low-key miserable. Wondering if this is all there is?

Well, that’s where Eros can help. The underlying problem behind this dull dissatisfaction and turn-off could be that you’re not living ‘fully alive’. That might be why you feel disappointed, disconnected and empty. It’s a painful and confusing way to live.

Freud touches upon this in his psychoanalytic theory, with the drive of Eros and the opposing drive of Thanatos. 

Thanatos = NOT FULLY ALIVE. Fear, loneliness, boredom, emptiness.

Eros = TOTALLY ALIVE and present. No space for doubt. A drive to create higher unity.

Feeling Fully Alive

Sex is just one expression of eros. Albeit it a compelling one. Think of the way you feel when you’re turned on, in lust, fully present in sexual union. It feels like a kind of unstoppable, internal power. 

And don’t worry, I don’t mean walking around with an annoyingly distracting horniness. It’s more like a vibrant, pulsating, excitement that fuels everything.

You can harness this feeling to feel more alive in all aspects of your life.

You can consciously decide to allow life force energy to flow through you always. Yes, in the bedroom but also far beyond that!

So What’s Stopping Us?


Considering that Eros is a natural part of being human – that we all have, why aren’t we enjoying this vibrant juiciness already? Truth bomb – our subconscious barriers hold us back. 


Yep, all of that stuff we were taught growing up to help us fit into society neatly. It prevents the flow of life force energy. It stops us from taking up all the space we deserve. And it makes us play small. 


Eros is our natural state, but we’ve been trained to block it. So as Rumi says we don’t have to do anything to find Eros – we just have to rewire our subconscious programming. He just says it more poetically than I do…


Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. 


Ahhh… so all we need to do is seek out those barriers and remove them! But how?

The Power Of ‘Turn On’


Did you know that there is little in life more arousing than a turned-on woman?


A turned-on woman can turn on her partner, just by being turned on. Seriously! That means you can stop worrying that your boobs aren’t big enough, or your that your thighs are jiggly.


If you could let yourself believe that, it would help you to focus on your pleasure and not on your body, or anything else you’re worried about in the moment. 


There is so much POWER in your desire. And, trust me, being turned on is not just for the bedroom.


A turned-on woman becomes magnetic to the world around her.

How To Reclaim Eros


This is a humungous topic – but let’s start here. 


Decide to ALLOW pleasure and life force to flow through you. 


In other words, stop stopping it! 


It’s easier said than done. But the truth is, this Eros, this life force energy is nothing to be ashamed of. 


Here’s an affirmation that might help you to shift your mindset:


I am an irresistible force of nature. 


You are!! So, write it down, speak it out, repeat it. Often! Even if you don’t believe it. Over time you will start to rewire your brain.

If you’d like some more Eros friendly advice, check out this quick 4 minute video I recorded. You’ll find two fun and easy tools that you can use to awaken your powerful life force energy and reclaim eros in your daily life.


Eros is yours to reclaim! Are you ready to grab it? Let me know in the comments below!