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Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Beginners: Tips, Positions, and More

Picture of Lisa Welsh
Lisa Welsh

Podcaster
Sexual Health & Pleasure Educator
Media Liaison for the World Association for Sexual Health

Welcome to the part of intimacy that’s often whispered about but seldom discussed out loud! 

Anal sex — yep, we’re going there. 

While it’s wrapped in layers of hush-hush, many couples are curious to try anal sex but aren’t sure how to approach it. 

If you’re in this boat, you’re in the right place! 

Because today’s article serves as the ultimate guide to anal sex for beginners. In this guide, you’ll learn how anal sex feels to know what to expect and what anal orgasms are. I’ll also list the top tips and positions if you’re new to anal sex. 

How does anal sex feel? 

It’s no surprise that anal sex feels entirely different from vaginal sex. There are several “stages” of sensation during anal sex. These include the following: 

  1. Initial tightness and pressure: Anal entry has its guards — two rings called external and internal sphincters. First-time visitors? You’ll be greeted with a tightness, a tad more snug than other intimate entrances.
  1. Fullness: Made it past the gates? You’re likely to feel a satisfying fullness, kind of like having a three-course meal.
  1. Intense internal stimulation: With its multitude of nerve endings, the anal canal is a sensation hotspot! And for those with a prostate? It’s like discovering an intense internal pleasure button rivalling the famed G-Spot.
  1. Warmth: You may also experience a sensation of warmth as blood rushes to the tissues in response to stimulation. 
  1. Heightened sensitivity: Think of the anal region as a high-definition zone; every subtle move is felt in 4K clarity.
  1. Unique emotional feelings: Beyond the physical, the back door journey can be a roller coaster of emotions. From the thrill of the taboo to vulnerable moments, or even a primal ‘letting go’, it’s an experience that speaks to both body and soul.
Sensations people feel during anal sex

Still with me? Fantastic! Now, let’s unveil the secrets of anal orgasms so you know exactly what you’re in for.

What are anal orgasms? 

As the term suggests, anal orgasms are orgasms that one gets through anal penetration or stimulation. 

The phrase “anal orgasm” may sound like a legend from ancient intimacy scrolls, but trust me, they are real! 

And for some women and people with vulvas, it can be even more pleasurable than a clitoral orgasm. The potential for anal pleasure exists — regardless of gender or orientation. And you can experience it with fingers, sex toys, or a penis!

But what makes you have an anal orgasm? I.e., What are the factors that make these types of orgasms possible? 

Let’s look closer… 

1. Rich in nerve endings

The anal realm is like a bustling city of nerve endings. Here, sensations can vary from a gentle breeze to an electric storm. This is because there are many nerve endings located in the rectum

2. Proximity to other pleasure centres

Let’s remember anatomy class — the rectum is a close neighbour to other pleasure zones and nerve pathways. So, for many, anal play can be like knocking on one door and having another one answer, amplifying the delight. 

3. Intimacy and mental stimulation

The allure of anal play isn’t just physical, it’s mental too. This includes the thrill of the forbidden, because, let’s face it, when something seems taboo, you’re more likely to be curious about it and enjoy the sensations that come with it. 

It could also be the vulnerability or deep trust that’s required between partners. All these factors can amplify sensations and send you soaring. 

4. Induced orgasms

For some people, anal stimulation plays a supporting role, not the lead. You can pair it with other acts, such as clitoral or penile pleasure. 

These combined sensations can bring a new level of pleasure and might be the “magic” combination for you and your partner. 

5. Prostate pleasures

Often hailed as the “P-spot”, the prostate is a treasure nestled a few inches inside the rectum. Like the famed G-spot, its stimulation holds the promise of profound, resonant orgasms.

P-Spot location in male body

(Image Source)

So, anal penetration for men can cause a P-Spot orgasm — in many cases, can be even more pleasurable than a “normal” orgasm from stimulating the penis. 

Curious about P-Spot orgasms? Learn some tips on how you can achieve a P-Spot orgasm or give one to your partner😉. 

Debunking common anal sex myths

Here are some of the most common anal sex myths and misconceptions people have.  

  • Anal play is just for specific people: Whether you’re straight, LGBTQ+, or non-binary — everyone’s invited to this party. It’s all about your individual preferences, baby.
  • It’s painful: Look, pain is not the game. If done right, anal doesn’t equate to agony. If you do it right, it can cause immense levels of pleasure, unlike anything you’ve felt before. Pleasure should always be at the forefront, and consent is paramount. 
  • It’s messy: Let’s address the elephant in the room. Poo resides in the rectum, yes. But with some pre-play prep, the mess can be minimised. Ensure your bowels are empty, give a gentle wash, and consider douching if you’re keen on a deeper clean. Always follow guidelines. And hey, condoms and tissues are your allies for quick clean-ups and tidying things. It’s all part of the journey!
  • Anal sex can’t cause STDs: No risk of pregnancy with anal sex, but STDs don’t discriminate. And in fact, there’s a greater risk of getting these diseases due to micro tears. 
  • Manicures aren’t necessary: They are! Clean, trimmed nails are essential if fingers are used for anal play, as sharp or jagged edges can cause microtears.
  • Lube isn’t necessary: You need lube! Remember, the rectum doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, making lubrication crucial for a comfortable experience. Get a rich, quality lube tailored for anal escapades to minimise friction and amplify pleasure. Silicone lube is an excellent choice because it lasts longer. Check out the lube collection in my store

alt: Common anal sex myths

Are you experiencing pain during anal? Then your body’s waving a red flag. Don’t grin and bear it. Halt, reassess, and if discomfort continues, get a medical opinion. 

And a word about numbing creams — they might mute pain, but remember, the anus is like a delicate silk fabric — prone to tiny tears. It’s crucial your body can voice its feelings.

Anal sex tips for beginners

Here are some of the tips you can try if you’re an anal sex beginner and you don’t know how to approach it. 

Do proper preparation

Preparation is one of the most vital parts of anal sex and should never be overlooked. Chatting might not sound sexy, but open dialogue about your curiosities, concerns, and boundaries is the hottest foreplay. Always ensure mutual enthusiasm and comfort.

Solo test first

Before you partner up, consider a solo exploration. During your next self-love session or shower, gently probe with a lubed finger. It’s a way to get acquainted with your body’s unique rhythm. You can also explore butt toys alone once you get used to your finger. 

Take it slow 

Don’t dive right into anal. Dive into the passion pool with foreplay, arousal, and maybe even a climax or two before any penetration.

Here’s how to approach the main event: 

  • Start slow: Allow your partner to start by inserting one lubed finger. 
  • Dual Sphincters: Remember those two sphincter muscles? If you feel discomfort when your partner’s finger is inside, ask them to pause, allowing your muscles to acclimate. If the discomfort fades, they can continue. However, if it escalates, ask them to gently withdraw and take a break.
  • Guided thrust: Once comfortable with a finger’s depth, your partner can try slow thrusts. You’re the conductor here. Direct their pace, and let them know if it’s too fast or slow.
  • Feeling more confident? Your partner can gradually introduce a second finger. The mantra remains the same: Gentle, slow, and communicative. If that’s comfy, you can consider progressing to three fingers or transitioning to anal sex.
  • Experiment with positions: When you’re both comfortable, experiment with positions like doggy style or spooning. The key is finding what feels best for both of you.
  • Add toys: When ready for more, you can implement sex toys, such as butt plugs or anal beads. Remember, it’s super important to use toys with flared bases for anal play to prevent the toy from getting stuck.

Feeling a tad nervous? That’s completely natural. Deep breaths and open communication are your best allies. The more relaxed you are, the better it’ll feel. 

Top 4 anal sex positions for beginners

Here are some anal sex positions for beginners that you can try to test the waters and discover new levels of pleasure. 

1. Leaning cowgirl

This anal sex position starts with your partner on their back, giving you control over the penetration’s depth and speed. Steadily lower yourself onto them, using your hand to guide them in. 

Remember, at any sign of discomfort, pause and relax. Once acclimated, you can explore gentle movements. And why not experiment with different positions once you feel comfortable rather than sticking to just one?

2. Doggy style

Doggy-style anal sex is a classic. This is perhaps one of the most accessible positions for beginners since it doesn’t require any complicated stances. 

You will simply stand on your hands and knees on an elevated surface like a bed. Your partner will stand behind you and guide their fingers, a sex toy, or their penis into the hole. 

3. Lying doggy

You can also try the lying doggy style. This style is perfect for shallow penetration. The receiver will lie on their stomach, and your partner will lie directly on top of you, entering from behind. They need to balance on their elbows so they don’t put all their weight on you. 

4. Spooning

You could also try the spoon position. Alternatively, you and your partner will lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You can lift your knees slightly while your partner moves their pelvis and enters you from behind. 

This is an excellent position if you’re feeling awkward and don’t want to make eye contact while your partner is up your backdoor😉.

alt: Best anal sex positions for beginners

How to approach communication and boundaries

Communication is vital during any type of sexual play.  

Establish a safe word or gesture in advance for in-the-moment check-ins. Regular check-ins are vital with anal sex, especially if it’s someone’s first time. This reiterates the importance of continuous consent.

Before venturing into this intimate act, clearly define boundaries. Consent isn’t just essential; it’s the bedrock of intimacy.

Also, remember: It’s a marathon, not a sprint!

Anal sex wrap-up and aftercare

When it’s time to wrap up, the withdrawal should be as gentle as the entry.

You need to prioritise cleanliness at all times. A wash with mild soap and water does wonders. For added relaxation, consider a calming bath or shower. If other explorations are on the agenda afterwards, ensure a thorough clean-up first!

In addition to physical aftercare, you should provide emotional aftercare to each other as well. Check-in with your partner, discuss how the experience felt for both of you, and provide comfort and assurance.

Ready to try anal?

Now that you know the ins and outs of anal sex for beginners, you can try these tips to ease you and your partner into the experience. Once you feel more comfortable, you can explore different positions to find one that feels amazing for both of you.

Want to spice up your sex life even more? You can try these five SUPER HOT sex positions that I bet you’ve never tried (or even heard of). 

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