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How to Last Longer in Bed (8 Easy Tips For Men)

Picture of Lisa Welsh
Lisa Welsh

Podcaster
Sexual Health & Pleasure Educator
Media Liaison for the World Association for Sexual Health

Research shows that most men take five and a half minutes to ejaculate, while the average woman takes thirteen and a half minutes to experience orgasm. 

That’s more than double the time. 

While there’s nothing wrong with ejaculating before your woman does, you likely wish to delay your ejaculation as much as possible so you can enjoy (almost) simultaneous orgasms. 

So, if you’d like to learn how to last longer in bed, then stick around.

Because in today’s article, I’ll discuss why premature ejaculation happens and share eight simple things you can do to delay ejaculation so you can please your partner and experience more pleasure yourself. 

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

If you want to last longer in bed, you’re not alone. Many men and people with penises want that too. The time it typically takes for people to reach orgasm varies dramatically, but the common consensus in many studies is that men reach orgasm much faster than women. 

And then, of course, you have people experiencing premature or early ejaculation. So let’s talk about that for a second. 

According to the American Urological Association, men who ejaculate before or shortly after sexual intercourse without a sense of control, and who experience distress related to this condition may be diagnosed with premature ejaculation. 

alt: Couple looking sexually frustrated

(Image Source)

We can say that early ejaculation is when you orgasm sooner than you want to. Unfortunately, this often causes stress, performance anxiety, fear, and even avoidance of intimacy. 

If this is something that you’re experiencing, please know that you’re not alone because around one in three men will experience this at some point in their lives. 

You deserve intimacy and pleasure, so keep reading to learn my eight straightforward tips on how to last longer in bed for men.

Top 8 Tips to Last Longer During Sex

Before we get into the tips, I’d like to mention that you shouldn’t overlook the impact of lifestyle. 

Manage your stress, address relationship issues, and go and see your doctor if you’re concerned. Because there are many treatment options, including sexual medicine, sex therapy, creams, and other solutions that can help you with this. 

You don’t have to suffer in silence.

With that being said, let’s get into the tips!

1. Ejaculate Before You Have Sex 

Why not have a little wank before you start? 

This doesn’t work for people who are experiencing erectile dysfunction. But if that isn’t something you’re dealing with, then it can make sense to masturbate before you start having penetrative sex. 

Because often that first ejaculation can happen quickly while the second and maybe even third can take a little bit longer. 

2. Don’t Rush to Penetration Right Away

Keep your clothes on and take your time to warm up your partner. I’m talking about foreplay, baby. 

You can tease them, build anticipation by giving them pleasure, and do other things that don’t involve removing your pants before you get down to business. 

She will love you for it, and it will help her warm up and be ready for action when you are. 

3. Don’t Rush Straight for Your Favourite Position

If there’s one sexual position you love and know always gets you to the point of orgasm (i.e., it allows you the right depth, thrust, angle, speed, and view), save it for the end. 

This is like saving the steak on your plate and eating the broccoli first. While the broccoli tastes good, the steak is the thing that’s always going to put that smile on your face. 

So don’t go straight for your “steak” position. 

4. Choose a Position That Helps You Last Longer

I have four different variations of sex positions that can help you to last longer during sex. 

The first one is for you to stand while having sex. You can try a few different things here, but essentially your partner’s hips will be on a surface like the bed or a kitchen counter, for example.

Or you have her propped up with pillows so you can stand next to her and enter from that position. Your body is not typically used to cumming while standing. And so, the fact that you’re standing will cause a little delay while your body figures out what to do. 

alt: Illustration of standing sex position

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The next variation is using a position in which you can’t thrust very easily. My suggestion for this is the lotus position. From here, your partner is straddled over your lap, and the penetration is deep and can feel incredible. 

alt: Illustration of Lotus sex position

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But it’s almost impossible to thrust in this position. Instead, you will do a lot of grinding, twisting, and circling. This is going to feel so good for your partner, all while helping you last longer. 

The next variation is the spooning sex position, where the penetration is more shallow.

This position doesn’t provide you with complete stimulation on the whole shaft of the penis.

Here, you’re essentially lying in the same position, facing forward, while you spoon her from behind.

alt: Illustration of spooning sex position

(Image Source)

This way, the penis enters from behind, but you’re not able to get right in there in the same way you could if you were doing doggy style.

So this will not give you your favourite kind of stimulation, although it gives a lot of intimacy and can feel incredible.

My last variation on positions is a position where she’s in charge.

Something like the cowgirl sex position could help you last longer in bed because she’s likely to be grinding, rising, and circling her hips on you since that feels good for her.

alt: Illustration of cowgirl sex position

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So, instead of receiving deep thrusting and frequent stimulation that’ll take you over the edge, you’ll enjoy sex differently. This will still feel good for you but won’t take you over the edge as quickly. 

Before I get on to my next tip, I want to tell you about two free erotic date plans that I have entirely mapped out for you. These dates are perfect if you struggle to get your woman in the mood and are looking for ways to reignite the passion in your relationship. 

You can follow the steps laid out for you and experience a night of delicious sexual pleasure with minimal effort involved. 

You can access the free sexy dates right here!

5. Slow Down in Whatever Position You Try

Go slow, especially when you first start. 

Use this as an opportunity to breathe and connect with yourself. Make eye contact with your partner and check in with her erogenous zones. 

So, instead of just thrusting and going fast, you will go as slowly as possible. 

For most women, this is going to feel incredible, and believe it or not, even just holding your penis inside the vagina can feel divine. It can be enough to tip some women over the edge into climax. 

I’m speaking from experience because some parts of the vagina, when fully aroused, can enjoy just the feeling of pressure. 

This is especially true for the G-Spot and the A-Spot — both located inside the vagina, with the A-Spot being deeper than the G-Spot. 

6. Practice the Stop-Start Technique

This is also known as edging. With this technique, you gradually build up stimulation to build your sexual arousal towards ejaculation, and then you stop. 

You either stop entirely, slow down stimulation, or distract yourself with something else. 

So when it’s regarding penetration, you can actually: 

  • Take your penis out of the vagina
  • Or, you can slow down and stop moving when you’re getting closer to orgasm
  • Or, you can change the position entirely and go to oral sex, fingering, or something completely different 

Not only will your partner love you for this, but it’ll also give your penis a break and a chance to catch your breath and calm down a little before you start again. 

Now, edging can be really powerful because it won’t only help you delay ejaculation but also help you learn about your body so that you discover your point of no return. 

Additionally, it can help you have even more intense ejaculations when they do happen. 

So, it’s undoubtedly worth practising, and it’s something that I suggest you practice on your own in the beginning through masturbation before you move on to doing it with your partner. 

Learn more about edging and how to do it.  

7. Use the Squeeze Technique

Another technique is to withdraw your penis from the vagina and squeeze the head for a few seconds. This pushes some blood out of your erection and slows everything down.

Again, you can practice this technique on your own and even combine it with the stop-start technique. So, you can stop-start and squeeze. 

Sometimes these techniques can result in erection softening, and that’s okay. It’s essential to understand that the penis isn’t designed to be this rock-hard thing to be used all the time. 

It’s natural for there to be moments of firmness and softness during playtime together. And penises can experience pleasure no matter their level of firmness. 

But if you do find that the edging and stop-start techniques cause you to lose your erection which causes anxiety in itself frequently, then don’t do it. This is just one tip to try, and if it doesn’t work for you, you can try plenty of other techniques instead. 

8. Use a Condom

Sometimes adding a barrier like this can reduce the sensation on the shaft and the sensitive head. While it’s still pleasurable, the stimulation isn’t as intense, which could slow things down and help you hold out for longer. This works even better with a thicker condom.  

Improve Sexual Performance With These Techniques

Following the tips in this article will help you last longer in bed and potentially experience better orgasms than you’ve had before. 

Not only will these techniques make the sexual experience more pleasurable for you, but for your partner too. 

Pssst, don’t forget to download my two free sexy date nights to bring back the steam in your sex life. 

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