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How to Talk Dirty to Your Husband (+10 Dirty Talk Examples)

Picture of Lisa Welsh
Lisa Welsh

Sexual Health & Pleasure Educator
Media Liaison for the World Association for Sexual Health

Do you wish you could talk dirty to your husband without cringing? 

I get it. Dirty talking is super sexy. It can really light the fire in the bedroom and give you and your partner all the right flutters in all the right places.😉

But, at the same time, it can also feel super awkward. You may be scared that the words will come out wrong and leave you with burning cheeks, feeling totally embarrassed. 

But trust me. It doesn’t have to feel awkward or weird. It mainly takes practice. And, once you know what to say, it’ll become even easier to do. 

In this article, I’ll share my top tips to help you become a natural dirty talker. I’ll also give you ten dirty talk examples to drive your husband wild and get him hot and ready for intense action in your sex life. 

Why would you want to talk dirty in the bedroom? 

Before we jump to the good stuff, let’s first discuss why dirty talking is such a powerful tool for arousal and sex. 

  • First of all, dirty talking can be super exciting and fun since you’re not used to it. This creates excitement, which can lead to even more arousal.  
  • It can also make your partner feel so good about themselves. You can make him feel desired and loved. 
  • Speaking of feeling loved, dirty talk can also make you feel closer to your husband and bring more intimacy into your relationship. 
  • Lastly, if your partner is stressed, it can take them out of their head when you suddenly say something sexy. This makes them more likely to focus all their attention on you. 
alt: Woman biting her lip

5 ways to make it less awkward 

Here are some tips to make dirty talking feel less awkward and more exciting. 

1. Practice saying those naughty words

As with all things, practice makes perfect. 

By practising the naughty words and phrases repeatedly, they’ll lose their power over you. For example, you’re going to practice saying cock by saying the word alone several times and then in different phrases. 

  • “I love your cock.”
  • “I want to see your cock.”
  • “I want to feel your cock.”
  • “I love sucking your cock.”

You’re going to keep saying it until it doesn’t make your cheeks burn.

2. Read a saucy story out loud 

Grab your Fifty Shades of Grey book, put on your glasses, and read. Reading these delicious words out loud is even better since you’ll start getting used to the feeling of these words coming from your lips. 

This way, you won’t have to make up the words since they’re already in the book. You can try this with other erotica books too. If you don’t have any, you can pick up books from famous erotica authors, such as Sylvia Day. 

alt: Woman reading erotica

While we’re on the topic of our favourite erotica trilogy, read my top 15 Fifty Shades of Grey Toys article that’ll give you a list of great sex toys you and your hubby can try to spice things up in the bedroom

3. Roleplay

Sometimes when you’re in character, you can let the character say things you wouldn’t usually say. 

For example, Lisa Welsh might not say these naughty phrases, but if I had an alter ego, she’d have no problem letting these dirty words slip from her mouth. Thus, role play might just be the thing that helps you let go and really start playing with sexy words and phrases. 

4. Take away the eye contact 

Often, eye contact is the thing that makes dirty talking difficult. 

Blindfold your partner or press your face close to their ear and whisper so they can’t look into your eyes. This will help you be more confident to say something sexy without blushing and feeling awkward.  

5. Use various phrases

You need to practice saying different things, some easier (and less awkward) and some more challenging.  

You’ll notice that the ten phrases I’ll be sharing with you in the next section will go from easy to hard. You can start practising with the first couple of ideas and then build on them. 

Remember, these suggestions and phrases are just a beginning point for you, and you can make them your own based on what you and your partner like. 

There’s never any pressure to say anything that doesn’t feel right for you. If it goes against your values or religion, skip or tweak them. You’ll see that these phrases are for you to build upon and use as you will. 

10 sexy dirty phrases that’ll drive your man wild 

The moment you’ve been waiting for. Here are ten sexy dirty phrases you can say that’ll have your man hot and ready in no time. 

1. Pre-sex dirty text message 

Sending dirty talk texts is really good for building sexual tension. And, as you know, sexual tension is crucial if you want to experience explosive orgasms.  

Not only will a pre-sex text get your partner aroused, but it’ll get you aroused too. It’s a win-win.  

In the text message, you’re going to say something along the lines of, “I’d blush if you knew what I was thinking about right now.”

You can leave it at that if you want because the purpose of this text is to create a question mark in their mind of what you’re thinking about. 

And trust me, more often than not, your husband’s thoughts will be dirtier than yours — making him even more likely to get aroused. 

Another variation is something like, “I had a naughty dream about you last night.”

alt: Woman reading erotica

And then, if they want to know details, you can either say, “You’ll have to wait and see, I’ll show you later,” or you can go into more detail here and pepper your description with some sexual fantasies or things you’re curious about trying. 

Or, you can talk about things you’ve done together in the past or things you would like to do in the future.

2. Let your partner know what you’re excited for  

This can be done via text, or it can be done in person. 

You can choose to do it while you’re at work, together at a party or restaurant, etc. The key is to tell him this while you’re somewhere that means he can’t jump your bones right then and there.

So, you’re going to tell your partner what you’re excited about (for later). You can say something like: 

  • “I can’t wait to get you on your own.”
  • “I can’t wait to feel your body against mine.”
  • “I can’t wait to rip your clothes off.”
  • “I can’t wait to see your face once you see me in this lingerie.”

This is also a great way to initiate sex if you feel awkward straight out asking for it. You won’t have to fear rejection since you didn’t directly ask for something. 

3. Make sounds

While this isn’t technically a phrase, making sounds is a great way to drive your man wild.

It deserves its place during sexual play and involves natural sounds. The key word here is natural since you don’t want your partner to think you’re faking it. In other words, you shouldn’t do what you think you should do but rather let it come out on its own. 

Furthermore, there’s a connection between your throat and pelvis. So, opening up your throat and vocalising your feelings could increase your sexual pleasure. 

  • Groan
  • Moan
  • Grunt
  • Growl
  • Breathe deeply

Whatever comes out, let it. 

This is often the first step to talking dirty in the bedroom during sex since it allows you to get comfortable expressing your pleasure in front of your partner. You can also practice this by yourself. 

If you’re silent during masturbation, you can start allowing yourself to make sounds while you’re on your own. 

4. Use single words

Don’t underestimate the power of a single word when turning your man on. 

Saying words like “faster”, “harder”, “deeper”, “slower”, and “yes” is a great way to give feedback and direction during sex so your man knows he’s hitting all the right spots. 

alt: Woman reading erotica

Choose whatever word feels natural at the moment. 

Even if a funny word pops out, that’s okay.

You and your husband will likely laugh, grow closer, and move on. After all, we’re here to have more fun together, right? 

5. Short phrases

After you’ve started using single words, you can graduate to the next level and use two- or three-word phrases. 

These include phrases like, “Oh yes,” “Give me more,” “Call me daddy,” “Right there,” and “Spank me.”

The beauty of sexy talk is that it allows you to truly express yourself and gives your partner the chance to see a different side of you. They’ll respond, “Oh my goodness, did she just say that? That’s so hot”.

6. Ego boost phrases

This one is a little harder, but it’s great for stroking your man’s ego and allowing them to truly express themselves. 

You’ll say something you love about them — before or during sex. 

It can be something like: 

  • “I love the way your ass looks when you walk away.” 
  • “I love how your shoulders move as you thrust over me.” 
  • “I love feeling your cock in my hands.”
  • “I love seeing your eyes flash with desire when you look at me.”
  • “I love the way you make me feel with your tongue.”

Right, so these are ego-boosting comments. 

Note that these sexy dirty phrases have to be sincere and believable. You’re not just going to say something completely crazy like, “Your cock is enormous, it’s the biggest I’ve ever seen in my whole life.” Unless it’s true, of course. 

Because then they’re going to think, “Yeah, she’s just trying to stroke my ego.”

So, yes, we’re trying to stroke their ego, but we’re doing it in a real way, where we’re actually appreciating and admiring something about them for real.

7. Tell them what you want

Whereas the previous phrase was about them, this next phrase is more about you. Even though you will express what you want, this will still get his engines going. 

At the end of the day, your partner wants to please you, and if he hears that he can do something to make you feel good, he’ll be eager to do it. 

You’re going to say things like:

  • “I want your hard cock.” 
  • “I want to feel you deep inside of me right now.”
  • “I want to taste you.” 
  • “I want to be spanked.” 
  • “I want to feel like I’m the only person in the world.”

So, essentially you’ll be taking the phrase “I want,” and you’re going to fill in the blank with whatever you desire. 

This is your chance to tell your husband what you want in a way that’ll boost intimacy and bring you closer than ever.

8. Encourage him

Did you know that for many men and people with penises, their performance is the number one concern in the bedroom? This is known as sexual performance anxiety and could actually cause your man to have less fun in bed. 

The goal of encouraging phrases is to boost your husband’s confidence and help him feel more secure to enjoy himself and go all out. 

You can say things like, “Keep going,” “That feels so good,” or “When you lick my clit like that, I want to explode.” 

alt: Woman sitting on man's lap

The intention here is to encourage your partner and let them know what’s working for you. 

This isn’t only a great way to give feedback and encourage him, but it also allows you to learn each other’s bodies intimately so you know what gets the other ticking. 

9. Be dominant

Do you have an inner dominatrix that wants to come out and play? 

If your husband is into it, why not incorporate a little power play into your bedroom? 

Here, you’re going to actually give your partner directions. So, if you’re interested in going down this route, it’s essential to ensure you’ve had a consent conversation before you start playing.  

This kind of dirty talk is going to be pretty intense. You’re going to tell him things like, “Look into my eyes,” “Get on your knees,” “Get busy with your tongue,” “Grab my butt,” or “Bend over.”

Are you into BDSM? Discover how you can create your own BDSM playroom to explode the pleasure in the bedroom. 

10. Be submissive

On the opposite side of being dominant, you can also flip the roles and be submissive. 

alt: Woman being submissive

Here, you’ll actually ask your partner for instructions. 

Again, it’s vital that you’ve had your consent negotiation and that you have safe words in place. 

Once that’s in place, you can ask him for instructions such as, “Tell me what to do with my hands,” “Tell me what position to get in,” or “What else can I do to please you?”

You could also tell him how much you love it when he’s in control, boosting his ego and giving him more confidence at the same time.  

Ready to talk dirty?

Now that you know how to talk dirty to your husband (without cringing), you can practice these phrases and start gaining the confidence to talk dirty before and during sex. 

It takes practice. But once you get the hang of it, it’ll bring more passion, intimacy, and explosive orgasms into your love life. 

Also, if you’re ready to surprise your lover with a good time, take a look at Beducated to inject some excitement into your relationship and spice things up between the sheets😉.

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