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Pegging

Why Do Men Like Pegging? (And What’s In It For You?)

Picture of Lisa Welsh
Lisa Welsh

Podcaster
Sexual Health & Pleasure Educator
Media Liaison for the World Association for Sexual Health

Has your man hinted that he’d like you to peg him, and now you’re wondering why on earth he’d be interested in it?

Aside from giving men mind-numbing pleasure, pegging can be an exciting way to expand sexual horizons within a trusting relationship. It allows couples to break free from routine and explore different roles and dynamics in the bedroom. 

But what exactly is pegging? What are the top reasons that men enjoy it? And what’s in it for YOU as the giver? 

In today’s article, I’ll cover all these questions and more so you can decide if you’d like to explore pegging in your relationship.  

So, without further ado, let’s talk about why your man wants you to peg him — and what that even means!

What is pegging?

Put simply, pegging is the act of a woman penetrating her male partner anally using a strap-on dildo.

The word “pegging” came into existence in 2021 in Dan Savage’s column when somebody asked for a term to differentiate between a lesbian couple using strap-ons for penetrative sex and a heterosexual couple using strap-ons for penetrative sex. 

He put out a poll, and people suggested words, and “pegging” was chosen as the winner. Thus, there’s no obvious reason for this particular word other than it was voted for and won.

Originally, pegging was a gendered term which meant that a straight, cis-gendered man was being penetrated anally using a strap-on by a straight, cis-gendered woman. But over time, with the gender binaries evolving, that has changed. 

I had the pleasure of speaking with Ruby Ryder, who I believe is the world’s foremost expert on pegging, and she now describes it as penetration using a strap-on dildo with prostate owners being receivers and vulva owners being the givers.

Why do straight men enjoy pegging?

Now that you know what pegging is, let’s discuss why straight men enjoy pegging and why YOUR man wants you to do it to him. 

Reason 1: Prostate stimulation can feel insanely good

The prostate gland (also called the male G-spot), is inside the body of men and people with penises. It sits just underneath the bladder, has a significant role in reproductive health, and is filled with delicious nerve endings. 

alt: Illustration of male anatomy prostate

(Image Source)

So, it can feel intensely pleasurable when stimulated. Some studies also suggest that regular prostate stimulation can have health benefits. So, activities like pegging that stimulate the prostate can:

  • Enhance blood flow
  • Bring more oxygen and nutrients
  • Relieve congestion of the prostate gland
  • Potentially reduce the risk of some prostate-related health concerns

Reason 2: Novelty and exploration

In long-term relationships, sex can get a little bit stale. 

Pegging can really heighten the pleasure and spice things up. It’s a real opportunity to explore comfort zones and mix up the dynamics. 

Pegging is the next boundary, especially for most heterosexual couples who haven’t necessarily gone there. You can explore uncharted pleasures together and, in doing so, deepen your intimate connection. 

Many couples say it’s helped them uncover each other’s desires, fantasies, and preferences. You can learn so much about your partner and yourself when you do things that aren’t part of your “norm”. 

Has sex become boring in your relationship? Discover other ways to fix sexual boredom and have more fun in the bedroom

Reason 3: Play with role reversal and power dynamics

There can be enormous pleasure and excitement derived from switching traditional gender roles and being the submissive party. 

Pegging allows you to break out of societal norms and go deeper into the experience of switching it up. It can be incredibly liberating for some people to let go of control, surrender, and be vulnerable in a way that may not always feel attainable in their everyday life. 

This power dynamic shift can enhance the connection, intimacy, trust, and level of communication between partners.

By embracing pegging as a form of sexual exploration, you can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories together. 

It also allows you and your man to learn more about each other’s desires, fantasies, and sexual preferences, allowing for a deeper understanding and acceptance of one another.

alt: Image of a dominatrix

However, it’s important to approach role reversal and power dynamics in pegging with clear and open communication, consent, and respect for each other’s boundaries. 

It should be a consensual exploration that brings pleasure and satisfaction to both partners, allowing them to embrace their desires and find joy in the experience.

Reason 4: Enhanced pleasure and potentially incredible orgasms

Some people say that prostate-induced orgasms are the pinnacle of male pleasure. 

It’s because of stimulating the prostate, which feels so good, and the psychological aspects of surrender and vulnerability. 

Allowing yourself to explore those new territories with novelty and deeper levels of trust can really heighten the potential for orgasm. 

Pegging can contribute to stronger and more intense orgasms for men through various factors that come into play during the experience. Here’s how pegging can enhance orgasms:

  • Prostate stimulation: The prostate gland, often called the male G-spot, is located internally and can be indirectly stimulated through pegging. The act of penetration can provide direct pressure and stimulation to the prostate, which is highly sensitive and can lead to heightened pleasure. When the prostate is stimulated, it can intensify the sensations during orgasm and contribute to more powerful pleasure releases.

  • Combination of stimulation: Pegging allows for a combination of stimulation sources during sexual activity. While the male partner experiences anal penetration, additional stimulation can be applied simultaneously to the penis, scrotum, or other erogenous zones. This multifaceted stimulation, involving both the prostate and external genitalia, can create a more comprehensive and heightened sensory experience, leading to more intense orgasms. For example, you could peg him while simultaneously giving him a hand job. 

  • Psychological and emotional factors: The emotional and psychological aspects of pegging, such as the trust, vulnerability, and intimacy, can also contribute to enhanced orgasms. Feeling deeply connected with a partner, exploring new territories, and experiencing heightened pleasure can intensify the overall orgasmic experience. The release of endorphins and the emotional satisfaction derived from pegging can enhance the pleasure and intensity of the orgasm itself.

alt: A couple bonding emotionally

It’s important to note that every individual’s experience with pegging and orgasm can vary. Preferences, sensitivities, and pleasure responses differ from person to person. 

As with any sexual activity, open communication, experimentation, and understanding between partners are key to discovering what brings the most pleasure and satisfaction. 

Respecting each other’s boundaries and preferences ensures a positive and fulfilling experience for both partners.

You and your man will discover what he likes as you start to explore. 

What’s in it for you as the giver? 

Now that you know why your man wants to be pegged, let’s discuss why you would want to peg him. Some reasons actually might surprise you. 

Reason 1: Gives you control

There’s much to learn when it comes to pegging. It can be a steep learning curve and require a lot of effort, but this can be so worth it. 

Because as Ruby Ryder says, she absolutely loves pegging, and so do many others. The feeling of being in control, that empowerment, that power dynamic can feel really good. 

There can be an enormous amount of pleasure found in giving pleasure. In our interview, Ruby said she takes enormous delight in turning her partner into a trembling pile of speechless flesh. 

So maybe you’re going to experience that too! It’s the same as when you are giving oral sex, for example, and you’re doing something that’s making your partner experience massive pleasure. There can be a huge amount of satisfaction in that.

Reason 2: It can feel really good for you too

This might surprise you, but there can be a lot of pleasure for the pegger. All kinds of tools and sex toys can bring the giver pleasure just as much as the receiver. Here are some examples of these toys:

  • When you’re pegging, you can use a dildo in a strap-on contraption that places the dildo at your groin on your mons pubis — meaning your clit will also be stimulated as you’re thrusting. 
alt: Illustration of a strap-on dildo

(Image Source)

  • Not only that, there are also “strap-ons” that don’t have a strap-on. Instead, they’re like wearable strap-on dildos, so they have an egg shape that goes inside the vagina and vibrates. 

Holy moly, isn’t that incredible? 

So, do your research if you’re curious about this. You can definitely find equipment that matches how you usually like to get off.

Common misconceptions about pegging

You’ve discovered why men like pegging and what’s in it for you as the giver. However, I know some questions are probably floating around in your head. So, let’s address those. 

  • The first most common question that’s probably in your mind is, “Isn’t this for gay men?”: It’s very difficult to unpack this connection that we have, this false conception that if your partner wants to be stimulated anally, then it means something about their orientation. We think they must be gay or bisexual if they want to be stimulated internally. And I want to bust that myth. If your partner wants you to peg him, it doesn’t mean he’s gay. This is just a part of the body that feels good to touch, and everybody has a right to explore that.

  • Another question you might have is, “Doesn’t it hurt?”: You might be worried about hurting him. But don’t worry, if done correctly, pegging doesn’t have to hurt at all, and all it requires is a lot of lube, patience, and the right technique. It doesn’t have to be painful. In fact, it can be a gentle, loving, and beautiful experience. Learn the difference between water and silicone-based lube and which is best for anal sex. 

  • Another question you might have is, “Isn’t it unhygienic and kind of gross?”: Well, of course, the anus is connected to poop because it does come out of there. But it doesn’t have to be dirty and unhygienic. It can be very simple to keep the area clean. Remember that the anus is the exit valve, not where poop hangs out. So, if your man washes the area with soap and water, it should be completely fine. And there’s always the option of using an enema, but that’s a personal preference. It’s not essential.

  • Another question you might be wondering is, “Isn’t this only for people who are into kink and BDSM?”: This misconception could come from porn, where we often see pegging portrayed alongside kinks and fetishes like degradation and humiliation. And while if you’re into that, that’s absolutely awesome, if you’re not into it, it’s not a necessary part of it. Those are just two things that happen to be put together in many of the visual depictions of pegging. And it’s important to remember that pegging can be a separate activity from kink and BDSM. Pegging can simply be about exploring new sensations, pleasure, and intimacy with your partner. 

Are you interested in trying pegging? 

So, if you’re curious about pegging or if your partner has expressed interest in it, don’t let misconceptions or societal norms hold you back. 

Openly discuss your desires, concerns, and boundaries with your partner. Take the time to educate yourselves, do the necessary research, and explore together in a comfortable and exciting way for both of you.

Remember, sexual exploration is a personal journey, and what works for one couple may not work for another. 

The key is to prioritise consent, communication, and mutual pleasure. As long as you approach pegging with respect, understanding, and a willingness to learn and adapt, it can be a rewarding and pleasurable experience for both partners.

If you’d like to start exploring anal play in a less intense way, consider giving him a prostate massage first and then moving on to pegging once you’re comfortable. 

Are you interested in spicing up the bedroom with sexy date ideas? Check out Beducated for tonnes of ideas that’ll level up your bedroom’s steam, intimacy, and pleasure. You can thank me later😉.

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